Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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