but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
