how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I can't turn off my feet"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
