Yo dont text me then not text me
I just saw a hot homeless man
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Im part way to drunk.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
