do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Randomize
