so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
