I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
