their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
