fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
