I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
