Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize