went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
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