i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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