U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
