he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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