Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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