Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
then he tried to convert me to islam
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
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