how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
