i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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