What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
