It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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