So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
