I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize
