I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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