uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
