Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
