I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
