Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
