Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
