This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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