weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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