we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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