There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
