So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
