Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
