What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
