so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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