Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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