Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Im part way to drunk.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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