and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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