So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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