How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just invented taco cereal.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
