Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
