Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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