your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
