We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I wish you could order shots online.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
