Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think your dad took our porno
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
