Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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