It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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