Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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