Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
