He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
