How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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