shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
