Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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