You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
