weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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