guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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