I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
where does the pee come out of this thing
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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