just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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