Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize