i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
