i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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