is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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